Cheers to the Future

     Growing up is one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I’ve been told to grow up, and live young since I can remember. To be afraid of what’s to come, and live in the moment. Be happy with yourself, but not too happy- it makes those struggling uneasy. Feel confident in the skin you’re in, but hide behind eating disorders and scars so that others don’t feel so alone. All of these are the exact definition of contradictory, and slowly on my seemingly endless path to adulthood, I’m learning this exact thing; which is life itself is contradictory and we can either learn to accept it one of two ways. 1. We wallow in the rain of anger, despair, and unforgiving unfairness of life or 2. Put on some boots, and learn to dance in the puddles.

            That being said, I have a toast to make to a few specific people whom of which I haven’t in this moment, met yet and have known my whole life, which; again; leads to the life being contradictory statement I made previously.

            The first raise of glass goes to the underdog. The one who gets picked on because of his messy hair every morning. Or the girl who doesn’t dress to the norms set by her high school, but chooses to wear what she wears anyways. The gay kid suffering from depression because of fear of rejection, or already being rejected. The girl suffering from an eating disorder so that she may one day make friends and be considered physically attractive. Some of these guys don’t make it, and deserve to be acknowledged. To those that do make it through the bulimia, rejection, and hard times, they come out on top. They are the underdogs who go unnoticed for a while, except for this paragraph, where they get a raise of glasses and a big ‘cheers’ for making it, and or trying too.

        The next cheers goes to the guy in the back of the room who sits quiet, because he is either too afraid to speak his mind due to rejection, or has trouble communicating “correctly.” Little does he/she know, that there are people like me out there who give them a silent cheers because they are brave enough to sit quiet in a room full of mindless chatter.

    The next, is to those people who at one point in our lives, were the reasons we cried a little, or maybe considered if it would be really worth it to serve jail time over their murder. Maybe it was the girl who made you feel bad for having messy hair, or the guy who made you feel bad about your weight. Maybe it was the bad customer at your job who treated you so poorly it shattered your mood. Whoever it may have been, and whatever the reasoning, they get a cheers for making us learn what we absolutely do not want to be like. Setting that example of who not to be in our minds, and making us stop to think in a time where otherwise, we wouldn’t have. To those who made us all in a shape or another become the underdog, this is for you.

      This cheers, is to the bad days. The days where we sit and cry for no reason and then maybe laugh a little later at our tears to try and shake the bad feelings away. To the days where we wonder why we continue to get out of bed, and try every morning to end up in the same place every night. To the memories of sadness, despair, and anger, for teaching us why it’s good to be happy, and why sometimes it’s okay to not be okay.

            This, is a Cheers to the Future. To the bad days, and good times. To the people who teach us why we like to be alive, and the people who make us question the sanity and hope of future generations. To overcoming the obstacles ahead, whether big or small. To the memories that sprint through our heads at night making us cringe with regret, and that one day that made us feel ecstatic with joy and hope. Part of growing up isn’t learning that life sucks and isn’t fair, although it plays a small role; a big part of growing up is learning how to juggle all of the contradictions, and confusion at once. It’s making the choice to wallow in the rain of emotions or dancing in the puddle of aftermath. Neither is right or wrong, it is simply the choice that is given to you. So, here’s a cheers also to the freedom of choice, and what doors may open after.

         My very last toast goes to not only the fog of being pleasantly lost in the worry of future, and being frozen in the mindless chill of the past, but to the bubbly white and gray clouds of the present. These are the times that allow us our newly opened doors, and cleared pathways. To not only learn how to weave through the fog of the unknown, and rise through the chilling thoughts of past regrets, but to shine in the clouds and rain of the present.  Living in the moments that have contoured and shaped to form our very own. This, is to sticking through until the down pour slows to a drizzle and the fog clears away. Revealing a beautiful cast of sun rays gleaming down on what once was.

       This, is a cheers to you, and becoming your own umbrella.